“It’s harder on you than it is on her.”

That’s what everyone told me as I left the child care center, my 3-year-old screaming for me, her mama. I felt like the worst parent in the world—leaving her behind to head to work just so I could provide for her.

They were right about one thing: that first day was hard—on both of us. I cried the entire drive to work, questioning if I had made the right decision.

At lunchtime, I couldn’t resist checking on her. I rushed back to the center, fully expecting to find my little girl still crying, waiting for me to rescue her. But as I peeked through the door, I was met with a surprising scene. There she was, giggling uncontrollably, playing blocks with another child. “How is this possible?” I wondered. “She was heartbroken this morning!”

The next day brought the same heart-wrenching routine. Her tears tugged at my heart, and I couldn’t help but swing by during my break again. But slowly, things began to shift. Each day, her crying became less dramatic. Drop-offs weren’t as painful, and I learned to trust the process.

We developed routines that helped ease her transition. Her teachers were patient, comforting, and supportive. She began to understand that I would always come back for her, and before I knew it, she was running off to play without so much as a glance back.

Even now, in the whirlwind of parenting life, I find that leaving her at daycare still leaves a little pang of longing. But I know this is part of her growing independence—and part of mine as well.

And truthfully? I hope I never stop missing her.

Tips for Easing Separation Anxiety

If you’re navigating this emotional journey, take heart. Separation anxiety is a normal phase, and with time, it gets better. Here are some tried-and-true tips to help make drop-offs a little easier for both of you:

1. Establish a Goodbye Routine

Consistency is your best friend. Create a simple goodbye ritual, like a hug, a kiss, and a cheerful “See you soon!” The key is to keep it quick and confident. Lingering or showing hesitation can make it harder for your child to transition.

Help them get settled with a favorite snack, toy, or activity, then hand them off to their caregiver and stick to your routine. This repetition builds trust and helps your child feel secure, knowing that leaving is a normal part of the day—and that you’ll always return.

If you need to process your emotions (because let’s be honest, it’s tough!), do it away from your child. Keep a brave face during drop-offs, even if it means having your own mini-breakdown in the car later.

2. Prepare Ahead of Time

A smooth transition starts before the first drop-off. Familiarize your child with the idea of being cared for by others. Start with short separations, like leaving them with a trusted family member while you run a quick errand.

You can also visit the child care center together beforehand. Let your child explore the space, meet the caregivers, and get comfortable in the environment. Some centers offer trial periods or hourly care to help ease the adjustment. This gradual introduction can make a big difference.

3. Lean on Supportive Meals

Consistency isn’t just about routines—it’s also about ensuring your child feels comforted and nourished throughout the day. Petit Bowl’s ready-to-eat meals can be a wonderful addition to their child care experience. Knowing your little one is enjoying wholesome, home-style meals, like their favorite veggie puree or hearty toddler meal, gives you peace of mind and helps them feel a sense of familiarity in a new setting.

Pack their Petit Bowl meals in their daycare bag, and let their caregivers know how much they enjoy them. This small act can bring a touch of home into their day, reinforcing the message that they are loved and cared for, even when you’re apart.

4. Be Confident and Positive

Your child looks to you for cues on how to handle new situations. When you project confidence and positivity during drop-offs, you’re signaling to them that everything is okay. Avoid showing hesitation or sadness in front of them, as this can amplify their anxiety.

Remind yourself that separation anxiety is temporary. It’s a phase that helps your child develop trust, resilience, and independence. Trust the caregivers, trust the process, and trust that you’re doing what’s best for your little one.

This Too Shall Pass

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but if it did, “This too shall pass” should be written in bold letters on the cover. Separation anxiety is tough, but it’s also a stepping stone toward your child’s growth.

Take it one day at a time, lean on routines, and celebrate the small wins—like the first day they run off to play without a tear. And when that moment comes, remember that it’s okay to miss them.

Because those pangs of longing? They’re just reminders of the deep, unbreakable bond you share with your child.